Jessie T. Wolf (wlfdog) wrote,
Jessie T. Wolf

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Hopeless Romantic...

I know it's a bit late, but Merry Christmas to everyone out there. Hope you all are enjoying the holiday season. :) For me, it hasn't been a huge event this year. vlen is here visiting Blue and I until New Years, and he came all the way from Alberta. ^^ I went with my mom to her friend's place out in Whitby for X-mas dinner, like we do every year.

While we were there, I got to watch the movie "Serendipity" which I really enjoyed. ^^ I'm a sucker for those romantic movies. Guy and a girl meet each other in the middle of New York, end up liking each other, have a wonderful evening together, but then end up parting ways. A few years later they're both engaged to different people, but they both start to find clues pointing to the other, and they end up trying to hunt each other back down. The movie blends love and fate together quite nicely, I thought, and I couldn't help feeling all mushy inside. ^^

I dunno if I believe in fate or not... but I still like the romantic fantasy behind it. I guess I'm a little old fashioned that way. I live in a Fantasy World, where I have someone who cares about me deeply, who holds me tight and keeps me safe and secure. And I'm happy, and feel loved. And although in the back of my mind I know it's not real, it's a heavenly escape from the harshness of reality. I still like to try and believe that there's a "One True Love" somewhere out there waiting, and will one of these days finally find me and sweep me off my feet...

But then again, maybe that's all just a bunch of bs. I think that, as much as I want to still believe in that, past bad relationship experiences have conditioned me into shutting down, and keeping my heart locked up, where nobody can get to it. As much as I want to open myself back up to someone, there's still that wall there... blocking, wanting to keep me safe from harm. I want to love and be loved again... but I'm afraid of disappointment. So best thing to do is just don't expect things. Don't get attached. Don't let feelings and emotions get the better of me.

Or just go with the flow of things. Live each day as it comes, let whatever happens happen, let "Fate" take its course...?

*sighs* Maybe I should just continue living in my Fantasy World...
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