Jessie T. Wolf (wlfdog) wrote,
Jessie T. Wolf

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AAAAAAUGH!!!! Back To School Syndrome!!!

Holy hell, I am going to die of work overload!!! *cries!*

*sighs and collects her brain*

I just found out tonight that we’re supposed to be starting work on the Kaze Ghost Warrior, Episode 2 production, like… next month. @.@ This wouldn’t be freaking me out so much, except for the fact that I thought I had a lot more time to prepare for this! >.o The plans that had initially been in my mind were to: a) spend December and January finishing off the last of my owed commissions; b) move locations (most likely to Vancouver) sometime in February/March; c) spend at least a few weeks settling in, before starting official animation training; and lastly, d) working on the feature film. I was under the impression that this was going to be something that I could kind of ease into… I was so not expecting all of this to be dropped onto my head all at once, right away!! X__X

I mean, I knew that Tim was thinking of getting a second episode into production, to be (shooting for) done by May 31, 2006. But I had no idea that _I_ was going to be a part of the _series_ production right away! So I’m freaking out… just a little bit… and trying very hard to wrap my head around just how I’m going to get everything done now, with this new, BIG project that will be suddenly on the go… next month!! O.o

Okay. I can handle this. I just have to think of it like going back to school. This means I’m going to have to completely switch all of my current work routines and sleeping patterns over the rest of this month, and start seriously focusing on getting work done. Like when I was in school. It’s so funny how I was able to take on and handle so many multiple tasks five years ago, but I am so out of practice now, the thought of a change this big scares me just a bit. Okay… a lot. Change in general scares me… unless I’m the one motivated enough to just jump into something new voluntarily. But someone going, “Here! You do this now!” makes me go, “Ahhh!” and want to run away. O.o

Maybe it’s the fear of not being able to do all that’s expected of me. The fear of letting my team down… I don’t want to be a disappointment to the others that will be working on this project as well. Maybe I just sometimes think I’m not good enough, since I have so much less experience with these sorts of things. >.< But I’m going to have to suck it up, and focus, since it wouldn’t exactly be fair of me to back out now, just because I’m afraid of something new. Besides, I wanted to be a part of this. And it would only set things back if Tim had to take me aside and do all of the training with me again later on…

Okay. I know I can do this. I AM motivated to do it… it’s just… this came on a little faster than I was expecting. So I will rightly feel a bit pressured and squickish for the next few days… O.o But there are ways around everything, if I just think rationally. And not panic and freak out. A lot of people do this professionally, all the time. A lot of people will get hired in a big studio, and meet their team/co-workers… and immediately start going to work.

I just need to get a new routine planned out. Lessee now… *thinks* This month is almost shot. Working mornings and evenings at the vet clinic… wake up at 7am, get to work for 8am… get off at noon-ish… go home and take a nap, until I have to get up and go back to work for 4pm until 7-7:30pm. Go home, and take care of the dogs. Uh… eat food at some point also (can’t forget that). Work on commissions until 11pm. Go to sleep, and do it all again the next day, until after New Year’s day, when my work schedule should be going back to normal evenings only.

Mmmm… this month may actually be just what I need to get my body trained for getting up and working mornings again. I am SO not a morning person. O.o Up until just the beginning of this month, my schedule has been the total opposite, like midnight shift, where I’d be waking up between 12 and 2 in the afternoon, going into work for my evening shift, and then spending from about 9pm until the early hours of the morning working on art. I’d usually not get to bed until like 4-6am a lot of the time. So, this month with working the Holiday Season early morning shifts will be able to help me change my sleep patterns at least.

I guess if I look at it like going back to School Shifts, starting in January, getting up and starting Animation training at some time between 8-9am, and working on Kaze, and commissions until about 2pm could work… Then between 2-3:30pm I can relax for a bit, until I have to go to work for 4pm. Get home by 7:30pm, take care of the dogs and house chores, and just spend the rest of the night relaxing a bit before bed. Gotta train myself to go to bed, like… before midnight so that I can at least get a decent 7-8 hours of sleep a night.

Dammit… this feels just like going back to school again after Christmas Break. >.< *flicks her ears* Okay, so maybe it’s not all that bad. It’s mostly just getting myself used to a new routine that will make me kind of cranky for the next few weeks. At least I’m learning something new and exciting… I just REALLY wish that I could have been more prepared for this!! *nervous!*
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