Okay, I would just like to say a few things. First, for all of you out there who lent a supportive ear, I thank you. For those who suggested I drop all contact with Blackwing, he was actually banned from my Live Journal, blocked from my IM contacts, and blocked from my e-mail before I made that post. Of course that didn’t stop him from sending me one more nasty e-mail, from a different account, just because he felt he had to get a last word in… That’s fine. I can block that one too.
It just… REALLY blows my mind how someone can be THAT vicious, hateful, venomous, and spiteful… and irrational to the point where any kind of logical communication just doesn’t get through at all. :/ If this were just some stranger that came out of the blue, I wouldn’t have taken things quite so hard, and in fact would have just completely ignored it.
But the people who read my last entry who thought that this was just a knee-jerk reaction to some frivolous BS, just to gain attention, would benefit to realize that I’ve been dealing with Blacky for QUITE a while. To the point where I did in fact go out of my way a couple of times to fix things between he and I, because I do not like unnecessary conflict. It really just shocked, and hurt me to find out that, even after I thought that things were fine and calm between us, they were apparently not, and that escalated into the stupid drama of that last night’s entry.
Now, I would also like to just point out a few things about why I make posts to my Live Journal. For starters, my journal is not used in the means of necessarily starting drama. It is simply a vessel in which I use to communicate my thoughts and feelings. I write about happy times here. I write about sad moments in my life. And I also write about things that frustrate me, things that make me angry, because it helps me get all of the negative feelings out of my system so that I can move on.
That last journal entry was also to make a very blatant point. I did use Blackwing as an example of the types of people I occasionally have to deal with. I felt it was important to show people what NOT to be like! O.o And anyone who hasn’t been “warned” about people like him may now be better able to pinpoint the signs, and know how to avoid them.
Also, for the couple of comments saying that I should put more personal entries like this as a Friends Only post… Everything I write about in my journal is welcome to public view, even if it’s not really meant to be for public hearing. I’ve never had to restrict anything to Friends Only, and I hope that I never have to. What I say is what I honestly think and feel, and I am not afraid to voice my opinions or concerns about any topic.
Do I care if Blackwing saw that last post? No. Why? Because I made the point I needed to make, and I don’t regret it. I should not have to feel ashamed for anything I write about in my own journal. I’m not afraid of other people seeing what it is I have to say, and I have no reason to want to hide what’s on my mind from people who may not agree with me.
Do I do it for attention? No. Do I do it just to have a bunch of my friends post comments agreeing to my every opinion so that it can inflate my super ego and make me feel better about myself? HELL no. O.o I’m not a fucking celebrity. I don’t think I’m some huge important person in this Fandom, just because I happen to be an artist, too. And I don’t surround myself with other “popular” people, just so that I can feel like I’m some kind of superior.
I have the friends that I have because I like the people that they are. They’re caring, generous, reliable, trustworthy people. They have feelings, and opinions just as everyone else does. They have their good times and bad times that I’m happy to be a part of, just as they’re happy to be a part of mine. I don’t care about labels, and I don’t care about popularity. I show everyone the same amount of respect that they show me.
No, I can’t be everyone’s friend, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate the friendly people who come and go in my life. And sure, I’d love to be around more for the close friends that I do have, and I regret that I’m not always able to be. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t care, and it doesn’t mean that I’m heartlessly ignoring people because I don’t have time for them personally; I just don’t always have the time in general. :/
I have a lot going on in my life, and I am VERY grateful to those who understand that and who don’t hold it against me. You have no idea how happy you, my friends, make me. And I thank you all for your love and support!
…On a totally different note… this salad tastes REALLY bad, and I have NO idea why I’m still eating it! X.x Blah! *goes off to get coffee*