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Major Psycho Headache... - Major Psycho Headache... - Jessie T. Wolf Page 3 — LiveJournal
June 2nd, 2005
05:23 am

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Major Psycho Headache...
Okaaay. This is going to be very long, and chalk full of drama, but ya know what? It needs to be said. One of the things I use LJ for, is naturally to vent my frustrations on shit that I have to deal with in my life, on an almost constant basis. This is not in the hopes of causing all kinds of stupid drama, but rather just a way for me to get this stuff off my chest, so that I can just forget about it and move on.

With that said, a tiny bit of background. I’ve known a dude who goes by the alias blackwingdragon for a little over a year. Yes, I’m mentioning his name. I simply DO NOT CARE about being courteous to this guy anymore! People need to realize when they’ve overstepped their boundaries, and NOT act like this guy has!

He’s had an insane crush on me for goodness knows how long, and feels he must constantly crowd and cling to me, as if he’d die without my attention or something. In the beginning, I was very tolerant with him. I give everyone a fair chance. I’m nice, courteous, and I don’t like being rude to people, who are only trying to be nice to me.

But this guy kept persisting on some kind of relationship with me, despite many interfering facts. He lives in friggin Hungary. He’s a bloody teenager who knows absolutely nothing about me, or my personal life outside of LJ, and the few short e-mails I’ve sent him in the past, when he’d write a mail to me nearly every week. I have tried to tell him nicely, many times, that I’m not interested in being anything more than a friend to him. Hell, at that point, all I ever considered him to be was a simple acquaintance.

But things started getting bad, to the point where this guy would start threatening to kill himself, because he was all depressed about my dating 2_gryphon at the time. At that point, I made an effort to try to calm him down, (don’t now WHY I even bothered) and convince him that I’m hardly a good reason to want to kill himself. After going out of my way, stopping the work I was doing to log into my AIM account, specifically to talk with him, and try to sort shit out, I get THIS crap in return, after I thought that everything was finally okay!

Before I go on, a quick explanation: As most of you probably know, fiskblack and I have recently started dating. It’s still a fresh relationship, and we’re taking our time. But I’m beginning to settle a bit more, and am finally starting to feel relaxed again, with trying out a new relationship, after the past few experiences I’ve had. It took me a while to get comfortable enough to trust someone in that way again. And I HATE it when people like this guy have to open their mouths and start stirring up shit with absolutely no cause. >.<

Recently Jay made a LJ post, just talking about the work he’s been doing in his daily life, progress with projects, talking about friends, etc. He happened to make a very brief little blurb about me.

“ wlfdog's been pretty busy with commissions lately, and I hope she gets caught up, cause I've been missing her online lately. But I know she's working hard. I know! I'm whipped! Damn!”

Just a little, “I miss Jessie,” comment. Nothing more. What followed was a string of attacks by blackwingdragon on Jay’s own personal journal. The thread is here, for your viewing pleasure.

I did finally have to say something, as I felt that this guy was being very rude and unreasonable in this matter that was totally uncalled for. He did continue to rant some more vicious shite in his own LJ, to which I also made a comment (since I have just as much right to bitch in HIS Live Journal, as he has the right to bitch in Jay’s, apparently!).

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"Oh, I'm not selfish, dear. Rather, the conceited fool, who beleives he can base authority back on something non-existant."

Yes. You ARE being selfish. >:/ And that "fool" can base all he wants on something that IS in fact existent. Jay and I ARE a COUPLE! And I really do not appreciate the things you've had to say about him thus far. >.<

"I pity bugs like that."

I pity YOU for behaving in such a childish manner! >:(

"I want to read into that person's life to understand him. I, however, do NOT want to see a pathetic arrogant fool rant on about someone I've had a huge crush on for longer than I've been in the fandom for."

Reading into his life to "understand him," will result in you also occasionally reading about my involvement in his life. So if you don't like it, then stop reading. That, or just suck it up and deal with it. Just because you have a crush on me is NO excuse for your behavior! Do you think this is impressing me at all?? Do you think this is winning you any more points with me? *raises a brow*

"And I can tell you here and now that if he dares mistreat said person, I will break every bone in his body myself."

If he mistreats me, I can damn well take care of myself, and you had BETTER believe that, mister!

"Oh, and just to demonstrate....this is my LJ. *arrogant tone* keep your foolishness to yourself."

*whines* 'I have EVERY RIGHT to bitch in YOUR LJ!!!' Fucking gimme' a bloody break. >.<

I don't want to hear from you anymore.

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I got an e-mail reply back, which I’ve taken the liberty of putting behind a LJ-cut, for those who don’t give a crap. It’s long, and absolutely mind-boggling. If you want a good laugh though, feel free to read ahead.


Read more...Collapse )


Okay. Just a few things I felt I needed to mention. First, I have NO fucking clue why he even mentions Ganador. Or how he has the gall to even begin to compare Jay with Gan. That is the hugest fucking insult ever! I don’t know what this Blackwing dude thinks he knows about my past involvement with Mr. Ganador Rex, (since I don’t even bloody well know this guy outside of LJ and have never talked to him about anything even remotely personal!). But the fact of the matter is that a good chunk of my “relationship” with Gan was me arguing with him to no end to stop lying and cheating on his girlfirend(s) at the time. >.< Gan put me through a LOT of shit, and I am not proud of my past with him at all. Jay knows this, and so do a lot of my very close friends, who where there to actually see the torment that damn dragon put me through!! In fact Gan is a huge reason why I’ve had a hard time trusting being in this new relationship with Jay. To even BEGIN to compare Jay with Gan is just SICK. If anything, Blackwing is more like Ganador than Jay is! O.x

Second, all this shit about me “turning him down” at a time when he was suicidal is a bunch of bullshit. Yes, I had to tell him many times, NICELY at first, that there was no way that he’d be able to have any kind of romantic relationship with me. What the hell did he expect me to say? “Oh yes, of COURSE I’ll date you! Just don’t kill yourself!!” For crying out loud!

Third, I never “blocked” Blackwing from my AIM list. I have two AIM accounts. A public account for acquaintances, people I’m friendly with, but who I don’t know very well. I barely get on this one anymore. I’m on once in a blue moon at best, when I’m not busy with working at the vet clinic, or working on commissions. SOMETIMES I actually DO like getting on AIM to chat with people I haven’t see in a long time. I also have a very private AIM account, which I generally only give out to my really close friends, people who I’ve known for a while, and am comfortable with talking with on a more regular basis. Unfortunately however, due to Life, I just don’t have much time for AIM as much as I used to. Hell, half the time I’m on my private account, I’m STILL hiding from people, because otherwise I’ll get distracted, and I won’t get any work done.

Considering the few times I HAVE made a pause in my life in the past to get onto my general AIM account, JUST so that I can talk to Blackwing, to make him happy, you’d think that he just *might* actually appreciate the fact that I have been QUITE tolerant with him, until now. And meanwhile he’s going on about how Jay’s an arrogant bastard, who doesn’t appreciate what he has with me. *smirks* Fucking hypocrite!

Now, this is going out to everyone who may read my Live Journal (and if you’ve read all of this so far, you deserve a prize!): I do NOT ignore people because I feel that they are “nobodies” as he puts it. I am not an arrogant bitch who thinks so fucking highly of myself. I am JUST one person in this world, trying to live my life the best way that I can, without shit like THIS dropping on me from all sides, all of the freaking time! I’m sick of this kind of bullshit! I cannot be everyone’s best friend, just because they want me to. I will not drop everything just to bow to any person’s specific wishes. And I will NOT tolerate people who go on to have their little temper tantrums, just because they couldn’t get what they wanted out of me!!

I give everyone a fair chance. I’m a nice person, I’m sociable, and cheerful (most of the time!) But for FUCK sake, do NOT cross a line with me, or this bitch WILL bite! For goodness sake people, give me less reasons to rant about shit in my Live Journal! I LIKE my happy journals!! But DAMMIT, things like this just give me the worst need to vent! *grits her teeth!*

……..

*sighs* Okay… I feel much better now…

Current Mood: aggravatedNot Impressed At All!!!

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[User Picture]
From:ralesk
Date:June 4th, 2005 09:02 pm (UTC)
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Hey,

I don’t want to comment on the issue in particular (but I foresee my head being bitten off in two minutes after I post this comment, even if I don’t dig into the whole actual issue in any way), but I noticed something, and while meaning no offence at all (hell, I don’t even know either of you), I feel like commenting about my surprise.

It’s about the part where you told about whom you’ve dated and who you are now.  I’m honestly surprised there, the two are (or seem to be) about half an Earth away on the political spectrum *chuckles*

I certainly hope stupid things like politics will never get in the way and you’ll be happy together for long :)

Jay!  By the way.  I love your comic, beautifully drawn, really, really cute.  (Can’t say I agree with most subtle messages in it, but hey, this isn’t the place to discuss that.)

Okay, I’m done, see yas.
[User Picture]
From:wlfdog
Date:June 5th, 2005 04:33 am (UTC)
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"(but I foresee my head being bitten off in two minutes after I post this comment, even if I don’t dig into the whole actual issue in any way)"

No, I shall not bite off your head. :-P

"It’s about the part where you told about whom you’ve dated and who you are now. I’m honestly surprised there, the two are (or seem to be) about half an Earth away on the political spectrum *chuckles*"

Well, politics are not what's important. I'm TOTALLY on an opposite point of view with Jay, in terms of politics. But politics are not what make a relationship. There are many other factors. The distance, for instance.

As much as I dislike Long Distance Relationships, (as I've already been in a couple that have failed...) Jay and I have both made a committed effort to make this one work. We see each other at cons, and visit each other every few months, and we speak on the phone on a consistant basis.

It is not all just Internet-based, as it most likely would be with Blackwing. Hungary is a lot harder to visit back and forth between. O.x It is also likely that there may be plans for Jay and I to move closer together, if our relationship keeps going as well as it has been so far. :)

There are just too many other factors as to why Blackwing and I wouldn't be able to work out, in a romantic sense, though, and he just refuses to see and accept that. :/
[User Picture]
From:ralesk
Date:June 5th, 2005 04:41 am (UTC)
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“No, I shall not bite off your head. :-P”

Haha! But I meant the… subject of the post doing so (surprisingly, that hasn’t happened yet!)

“Well, politics are not what's important. […] But politics are not what make a relationship.”

Oh, I know, I know. Regardless, it can become a source of trouble, so hey, may it never!

“[Blackwing] just refuses to see and accept that.”

Tell me about it. I’ve known him for four years or thereabouts.
[User Picture]
From:siraj
Date:June 9th, 2005 05:23 pm (UTC)
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*waves shyly* Hi Jessie, I'm a fan of your art, and a friend of mine linked me to this post of yours. I'd just like to say that we can both sympathize with your headache, as my friend and I have both had our share of run-ins with Blackwing... much to our dismay.

Stay strong, because we're lucky enough to have these whackjobs taken out of the genepool early on.
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