Jessie T. Wolf (wlfdog) wrote,
Jessie T. Wolf

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So, why is it that past issues always have a tendency to come back to get me all fired up again?

My life is good. I have very few problems. Yep. Got a good job working at a vet clinic. Working seven days a week now, but it’s still a job I like doing. And hopefully I’ll be getting a raise within the next couple of weeks. I have my art. It’s going a bit slowly right now, what with my computer being on the frits and all… I have to resort to using the crappy computer up on the main floor of our house… but still, at least I can check my mail once a day, and get my thoughts down on Live Journal. I have plans to move within the next year, which I’m steadily saving up for. I have great friends, and a wonderfully loving and supportive boyfriend. Yeah, I count myself lucky to have the life that I have. But in everyone’s life, there is always some sort of drama that will keep coming back to kick you in the teeth, no matter how hard you try to just forget about it.

I find a lot of the times good people tend to get taken advantage of, and screwed over the most. I like to believe in Karma, but in this case, it’s really taking its sweet ass time. X.x I don’t like it when good people I know and like are getting repeatedly hurt. This is the case with a girl I know who’s “boyfriend” is continually cheating on her, and manipulating her into believe that she is all he adores. It makes me… really… angry… when I hear about that kind of stuff. Especially when I thought it was an issue that was long dead and over with. Although I don’t know what upsets me more; the fact that he keeps promising her that he’s not seeing anyone else… or the fact that she keeps believing him, and continues to LET him use her.

I want to believe that deep inside of her, somewhere, she *must* know what he does… she can’t be *that* naïve. :/ But that, for whatever reason, she just chooses to ignore it, and pretend that everything is just perfect and peachy. I don’t know if that’s just the way she wants it… if that’s just the fantasy she chooses to believe… and I really wish I did know, because it makes me very sad to keep on thinking that she’s being hurt and doesn’t even know it. >.< And it’s all I can do to try and just keep my mouth shut, but sometimes something will just trigger it, and then all of these bitter and contemptuous feelings will suddenly come flooding back into me. And I hate it. I wish it would just go away, for good.

And people might say, “Well, if she does know, but is keeping herself in that position, it’s her own fault. And why are you even worrying about it, if it has nothing to do with you anyway?” Simply answered, it did have to do with me a little while back. And even though it may not anymore, just the fact that I know what still goes on is enough to get me upset time and time again. Just the fact that I was once hurt by this same guy, and to know that others are still being hurt and played around with to this day, is enough to keep on upsetting me, until the day it’s all finally over.

As for this girl… I really wish that one of these days she sees things for what they really are, and has the sense enough to get herself out of a damaging situation. She’s smart, and sweet, and she deserves SO much better than what she has. So does everyone else, for that matter. :/
Manipulative mind games are hurtful. Emotions are not things to be toyed with. >.
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