Jessie T. Wolf (wlfdog) wrote,
Jessie T. Wolf
wlfdog

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Looking At My Life...

...I need a better one.

So, I went out today, to run errands. Had some banking to do, (whoo! I actually have a bit of spending money now!) and then scanned the area for job opportunities. I grabbed some applications for No Frills, Blockbuster, Tim Horton’s, McDipshit’s (but I’m using that as a LAST resort!) and a couple other places. At this point, I’m trying not to be too picky about work, because the simple fact is I NEED a job. Even if only part-time, so that I can start saving up again, and also so that bloody Customs doesn’t have anymore reason to deny me at the damn border! I need to get to AC, or I will go on a killing spree. >.<

But anyway, I happened to stop by Pet Valu, cos Kevin was in, and I got to talking to him. It turns out that he may actually be leaving in a few weeks, cos he may be getting a better job. So when I told him I was looking for a new job, he told me to leave a resume, and he put it at the top of the pile. Kevin said that he’d make sure that Chris and Tina know that I’m looking for work, since the manager at Pet Valu already knows me. Yee… it would be cool if I could get a position there at least. Working at a pet food and supplies store sure as hell beats working a crappy fast food restaurant job. Plus I live just a ten-minute walk away, so I won’t have to spend money on bus fare anymore. Here’s hoping I get the job. O.o

In the meantime, I have five commissions on the go, plus I wanna try to get another piece up on FurBid sometime this week, so that I at least have something going on auction while I look for work. Been kinda getting back into a productive drawing mood again. :)

On a more serious note, I’ve decided that I want to move to Arkansas. This is something I’ve been thinking very seriously about, since I think that the lifestyle change would be much better for me. I’ve lived in the city all of my life, and I’ll admit that it’s never really done much for me. I’ve never really been into the busy, exciting city living. In fact, large crowds and busy streets have always made me a bit nervous. :/

I’ve been trying to look at just what I’ve accomplished within the past four years, since I graduated from high school, and sadly, I find I really haven’t gotten anywhere at all. :/ Even after getting my diploma in special effects makeup, finding a job in the field is useless, because I missed the first part of the course, and without your basics, no makeup studio or company will ever hire me. And it’s not like I have the money to go back and take the section of the course I missed. So I’m no longer going to school, and I currently have no job, or any real career plans for that matter. I did have that Doggie Daycare idea, and I haven’t fully given up on that… but I had to put it on hold because it just wasn’t taking off, and I can’t afford to not be making money while I wait for a dream to kick start. I may try it again later, when I actually have better funds and more space.

But for now, what do I do? My hopes of moving out of my mom’s house in June are dead. Things are just not working out, as far as that’s concerned. I guess six months was a bit of an unrealistic amount of time to plan things out. Even if it had worked out, living in Toronto is HORRIBLY expensive, and also finding a place that would allow me to keep my two dogs would have been a bitch as well. :/ *flicks her ears* So I’m sitting here thinking, just WHAT exactly do I have, if I continue to keep on living here? Aside from my friends, (who I LOVE to death, and I would truly miss…) I really don’t have much going for me here. :/

Now, I know most people might think that making such a big decision based off of visiting Arkansas for only ten days is a bit of a jump… but I have to look at the pros and cons here. Fayetteville is a REALLY nice town! O.o It was SO not what I was expecting, at all. It’s not huge like Toronto, but it’s not a tiny hick-town either, which I like. People there seem fairly friendly and decent, and there are a lot of places (restaurants, banks, shops, etc.) within walking distance. Even if I needed to get further into town, they have a free bus service, (!!!) and there’s a university, like, RIGHT close by. Rent is also CHEAP! So I could pretty much live off of a part-time job and still be able to afford rent, AND still have time to work on/sell artwork on the side. The apartments are also pet-friendly, so I would be able to keep my boys. There’s also a lot of open space, woods and stuff, which is also ideal for the dogs.

Already having friends there as well is a BIG bonus, cos I wouldn’t want to live someplace where I don’t know anybody. O.o Also, I’ll have the chance to explore a possible relationship with someone special… *blushes* So yeah. Living in Fayetteville, moving in with the NARFA crew, just seems very ideal to me. It’d be the kind of calm, laid back, simple living that I’ve always wanted. I don’t ask for much out of life. Just a small apartment with reasonable rent, a decent job, the time I need to work on my art, lots of friends, a comfortable relationship, and a good environment for my animals. Living in Fayetteville, I’d have a better chance at actually having all of these things. And if I don’t take that chance, how will I ever know if I can be happy? It’s something I’d like to seriously consider.

And with all of that, back to my art I go. :)
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