I should really be in bed right about now, but Blue and I got up to some interesting conversation tonight about marriage, and separation/divorce, and father figures who were never really there for us growing up, and all of that wonderful, fun stuff.
It somehow started with us talking about babies, and how Blue would rather adopt a kid one day, instead of having her own. From there we moved on to how the two of us were technically "accidents," both born two months premature. Blue was born during the middle of her parent's divorce, whereas my parents were never actually married to begin with, but they separated when I was about six years old.
Tim and I both certainly had two very, very different ideas about what marriage was, and I guess I am very guilty for not understanding just what it meant to him. To me, there is no difference between me being married to someone, or being in a loving, committed relationship with someone. To me, the committed bond lays in the emotions you carry for that person. A legal marriage to me is nothing more than paperwork that satisfies the Government. To me, marriage is not spiritual, because I am not religious. My feelings for someone are my feelings, and I would have been just as committed to Tim, had we got legally married or not. But that was my biggest mistake... saying yes to something and not fully understanding it from the other person's point of view. :/
( Cripes... I should be in f'ing bed right now... WTF?Collapse )