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January 5th, 2009 - Jessie T. Wolf

January 5th, 2009

January 5th, 2009
07:11 pm

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A Little More Scarlet Than Jessie
It's amazing... I don't know what it is about talking in a coffee shop that just totally zens me out, but it's like a drug. Literally, one minute I'm walking along the street with Tim, talking, and getting all frustrated, ready to spit fireworks out of my mouth... and then we walk into a coffee shop and I'm all chilled. We could talk about close to anything in a coffee shop and I'd not get offended or take anything personally... outside though, I'm like hell on wheels.

We had a long conversation about how different the two of us really are, and how it inevitably led to the end of our marriage. Part of what kept it together, really, was that both of us were trying really hard to overlook the others' flaws and differences, and pretend we were people who we really weren't. That's when you fall in love with the ideals of a person, rather than truly loving and accepting that person for who they really are. So, I'm learning a lot about who I really am.

Boring crap about myself behind the cut.Collapse )

So... this is me. Parts of me.

...

I still like me.


******************************


I hate the world today
You’re so good to me, I know
But I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe I’m an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet

Yesterday I cried
You must have been relieved to see the softer side
I can understand how you’d be so confused
I don’t envy you
I’m a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

I’m a bitch, I’m a lover
I’m a child, I’m a mother
I’m a sinner, I’m a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I’m your hell, I’m your dream
I’m nothin’ in between
You know, you wouldn’t want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean you’ll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous
And I’m going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change and today won’t mean a thing

I’m a bitch, I’m a lover
I’m a child, I’m a mother
I’m a sinner, I’m a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I’m your hell, I’m your dream
I’m nothin’ in between
You know, you wouldn’t want it any other way

Just when you think you've got me figured out
The season's already changin’
I think it’s cool you do what you do
And don’t try to save me

I’m a bitch, I’m a lover
I’m a child, I’m a mother
I’m a sinner, I’m a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I’m your hell, I’m your dream
I’m nothin’ in between
You know, you wouldn’t want it any other way

I’m a bitch, I’m a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you're hurt
When you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numbed
I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

Current Mood: contemplative

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