Apparently I now have access to something that's been a fantasy of mine for a little over a year now, and my reaction to hearing the news was not what I expected. Most people would do a happy dance. I just kind of sat there, blankly staring at nothing as a bunch of mixed thoughts and emotions suddenly came flooding through me.
The stupid thing is that I almost came to the conclusion that I didn't want this thing anymore. It had been just a hope for so long, that I pretty much chalked it up to Never-Gonna-Happen status, and I just accepted that.
Now I feel more like a cat than a canine:
*paws at the door* "I want inside!!"
*owner opens the door* "Okay, come on inside."
*cat sits there* "No thanks, I'll just stay out here."
I don't know what I want anymore, or what to think right now...
So conflicted... *ears flatten*
Solo the Beagle is determined that he's going to get up onto my lap this morning, though I keep telling him he's too big for that. We somehow managed to make it work, and now I have a plump little Beagle in my arms. Dogs are great for giving cuddles when you're feeling kinda down.