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Major Psycho Headache... - Jessie T. Wolf
June 2nd, 2005
05:23 am


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Major Psycho Headache...
Okaaay. This is going to be very long, and chalk full of drama, but ya know what? It needs to be said. One of the things I use LJ for, is naturally to vent my frustrations on shit that I have to deal with in my life, on an almost constant basis. This is not in the hopes of causing all kinds of stupid drama, but rather just a way for me to get this stuff off my chest, so that I can just forget about it and move on.

With that said, a tiny bit of background. I’ve known a dude who goes by the alias blackwingdragon for a little over a year. Yes, I’m mentioning his name. I simply DO NOT CARE about being courteous to this guy anymore! People need to realize when they’ve overstepped their boundaries, and NOT act like this guy has!

He’s had an insane crush on me for goodness knows how long, and feels he must constantly crowd and cling to me, as if he’d die without my attention or something. In the beginning, I was very tolerant with him. I give everyone a fair chance. I’m nice, courteous, and I don’t like being rude to people, who are only trying to be nice to me.

But this guy kept persisting on some kind of relationship with me, despite many interfering facts. He lives in friggin Hungary. He’s a bloody teenager who knows absolutely nothing about me, or my personal life outside of LJ, and the few short e-mails I’ve sent him in the past, when he’d write a mail to me nearly every week. I have tried to tell him nicely, many times, that I’m not interested in being anything more than a friend to him. Hell, at that point, all I ever considered him to be was a simple acquaintance.

But things started getting bad, to the point where this guy would start threatening to kill himself, because he was all depressed about my dating 2_gryphon at the time. At that point, I made an effort to try to calm him down, (don’t now WHY I even bothered) and convince him that I’m hardly a good reason to want to kill himself. After going out of my way, stopping the work I was doing to log into my AIM account, specifically to talk with him, and try to sort shit out, I get THIS crap in return, after I thought that everything was finally okay!

Before I go on, a quick explanation: As most of you probably know, fiskblack and I have recently started dating. It’s still a fresh relationship, and we’re taking our time. But I’m beginning to settle a bit more, and am finally starting to feel relaxed again, with trying out a new relationship, after the past few experiences I’ve had. It took me a while to get comfortable enough to trust someone in that way again. And I HATE it when people like this guy have to open their mouths and start stirring up shit with absolutely no cause. >.<

Recently Jay made a LJ post, just talking about the work he’s been doing in his daily life, progress with projects, talking about friends, etc. He happened to make a very brief little blurb about me.

“ wlfdog's been pretty busy with commissions lately, and I hope she gets caught up, cause I've been missing her online lately. But I know she's working hard. I know! I'm whipped! Damn!”

Just a little, “I miss Jessie,” comment. Nothing more. What followed was a string of attacks by blackwingdragon on Jay’s own personal journal. The thread is here, for your viewing pleasure.

I did finally have to say something, as I felt that this guy was being very rude and unreasonable in this matter that was totally uncalled for. He did continue to rant some more vicious shite in his own LJ, to which I also made a comment (since I have just as much right to bitch in HIS Live Journal, as he has the right to bitch in Jay’s, apparently!).


"Oh, I'm not selfish, dear. Rather, the conceited fool, who beleives he can base authority back on something non-existant."

Yes. You ARE being selfish. >:/ And that "fool" can base all he wants on something that IS in fact existent. Jay and I ARE a COUPLE! And I really do not appreciate the things you've had to say about him thus far. >.<

"I pity bugs like that."

I pity YOU for behaving in such a childish manner! >:(

"I want to read into that person's life to understand him. I, however, do NOT want to see a pathetic arrogant fool rant on about someone I've had a huge crush on for longer than I've been in the fandom for."

Reading into his life to "understand him," will result in you also occasionally reading about my involvement in his life. So if you don't like it, then stop reading. That, or just suck it up and deal with it. Just because you have a crush on me is NO excuse for your behavior! Do you think this is impressing me at all?? Do you think this is winning you any more points with me? *raises a brow*

"And I can tell you here and now that if he dares mistreat said person, I will break every bone in his body myself."

If he mistreats me, I can damn well take care of myself, and you had BETTER believe that, mister!

"Oh, and just to demonstrate....this is my LJ. *arrogant tone* keep your foolishness to yourself."

*whines* 'I have EVERY RIGHT to bitch in YOUR LJ!!!' Fucking gimme' a bloody break. >.<

I don't want to hear from you anymore.


I got an e-mail reply back, which I’ve taken the liberty of putting behind a LJ-cut, for those who don’t give a crap. It’s long, and absolutely mind-boggling. If you want a good laugh though, feel free to read ahead.

“I can't really care what happened, but I will write it under a mood swing, for
him. If he didn't reply the way he did after "relax, dude", we wouldn't be here.
I don't care also, if you beleive or not what I'm saying. Neither do you,
apparently. Knowing you or not has nothing to do with how I feel, and that's not
going to change. Aside from 2, you keep getting Ganador-types, and I'm sorry for
I will, however, not be sorry for being put off by an arrogant bastard I made a
note towards to stop whining. That's what he is in my eyes. A comfortable
wine-sipping nobody *shrug*.

Interests unincluded, I haven't seen you since February, so I can't really say
you'd made any effort at all to be communicable. 'specially since I know you're
on a lot more than that. IF you aren't willing to open your eyes to the absolute
shit I live in or with, that's your problem, but I refuse that you are
dissappointed in me. If he has an opinion about his LJ I made fun of in mine, my
opinion on him must be respected as well, But that's not really important.

I do whatever I do for a reason. Now, specifically, I HATE seeing a guy like
that have you, with no shame or care, and tons of arrogance. Hence, if he
mistreats you, I will make him regret being alive. I don't think anyone deserves
the curse of being in a relationship with me, but I'd rather it be me than him
with you. Yes, frankly, it bothers my eye how you make no effort to talk to me
and then blew me away like you did. Especially in that sensitive time.

Maya darling, what in the world exactly happened to you?

Once you two fight and part, you'll regret many things you've done. I wait for
that day eagerly, when you get back a sense of judgment this disgusting state,
"love" took from you. Don't see this as me, you, or him Try to look at this as
an outsider. Until now, I haven't anything but supported and liked you, sweetie.
I'll continue to do that in the future, too. But honestly. You didn't have to
get involved, especially not like that. It's a choice you make because you are
blind now. Lead on a leash by this "love" crap. Weigh if turning on your friends
who have no problem with you personally is worth a guy who will come and go.

*sigh* sleep well.”

Okay, so I was prompted to write one more e-mail to him, as a result of my anger and disgust. Here are his replies to my own comments:

> Okay. I need to talk now, and you need to listen.

I always listen to you.

> First off, how the hell do you come off saying all of that absolute CRAP to
> both Jay and I, and then turn around and post something all nice and cutesy
> in my journal, like nothing ever happened? >:(

Nothing did. I despise him, not you.

> I am VERY angry, and VERY disappointed in you. For everything that you’ve
> ever said, how much you apparently “care” about me, and want me to be happy…
> and then when I finally am, you turn around and ATTACK Jay, on his OWN
> fucking Live Journal, with NO regard for even MY own feelings on the matter!

Eh, those feelings will be gone soon. Love never lasts, it's just a stupid
hormonic reaction that makes us feel how we do. All I did was voice what I don't
think he should bitch in his special position. His first reply was peaceful, the
rest wasn't. From there, it was just defending myself.

> You talk about US being rude and inconsiderate?? Did you think that Jay’s
> journal was a fucking conspiracy attack on you or something?? *sarcastic
> tone* Oh yes, Blackwing… this is ALL said on purpose, JUST to rub it in
> YOUR face! Jay doesn’t keep up with everyone who reads his LJ. He doesn’t
> say the things he does to rub anything in anyone’s face, never mind yours!
> That’s just being stupid and paranoid. >:(

No. I just heavily dislike arrogant people who can't appreciate what they have,
and bitch the people down who try to point that out. The only "conspiracy" is
when you wanted to talk to me in February, you VERY conveniently showed up on
AIM, and left. I know you're keeping me off your "allow contact" AIM list , as
well. I've got a reason to be paranoid, and my stupidity comes from something
else *sigh*.

> You want to talk about consideration? What the hell makes you feel that you
> can tell him NOT to write about how he misses me on his own personal
> journal? Telling him he can’t do that is bullshit. We don’t go to YOUR
> journal and tell you that you can’t talk about certain shit you talk about,
> just because it *may* offend us! If you’re so very offended by what he has
> to say about me, then you have two logical choices. Either DON’T read his
> journal anymore. Or suck it up, and deal with it.

Because some people have nobody. Because he's bitching in a VERY special
position losers like I have no access to. You probably talk to eachother daily,
while I saw you, what, four months ago? This is hardly fair, or right. That emo
bullshit is just annoying to look at, Jess. Another thing is, you turned me down
while I was suicidal. You could've picked a better time, but you just had to
clarify *sighs*. All the while, not making any effort to talk to me since then,
I could go on about why listening to a selfish guy whine like that hurts me.
Because I'm not the one saying I miss you is the last reason. Oh, if you came to
my Journal, I'd respect it. Already, I keep politics, religion, and Bill Gates
off the rant list because of others' requests. I'm starting to think I'm too
nice -_-. Eh, I read his Journal to find out about projects, information, how
his day was spent. I hate him for his arrogance and I have no respect for him.
But as a living being, he's got worth. Also, as a talented artist. I don't
expect you to understand it, but think of this as an agression, behind which
hides a fatherfigure. Think motherly instincts. I'm stupid, like that >-<.

> This isn’t about YOU. We’re not out to get YOU. You have NO idea man… no
> fucking clue at all what hell I’ve gone through in past relationships. You
> don’t even KNOW Jay, to call him a bastard! Jay was a friend to me, and
> helped me through a lot of shit. He knows to this day that I’m nervous
> about relationships still. That’s why he’s being patient with me, and we’re
> taking our time. He’s been a huge amount of support to me, and YOU bashing
> him for it is just disgusting!

I don't have to know him to get a very solid idea from his replies. Yes I have a
valid idea. Ganador fucked everything that had an asshole, transmitting and
giving sexual diseases. I've talked to well over 50 diffirent furs who said
exactly the same thing. He was with you in a ..unique manner. Don't think you're
unique with having someone that close to you backstab you. My distrust and hate
for him stem from the lack of respect and consideration he's shown. I can't care
how much in love you are, I will hurt him if he hurts you. Is it....well this is
not to say he's like that, but those that have been previously wounded are easy
targets, dear. I don't want, or need your anger or disgust. I have the right to
hate a guy I don't like. One I get a snappy response from when I point uot that
he should shut the fuck up and put his hands together for the luck of being with
a goddess like yourself. It infuriates me so much, you have no idea.

I would have been there to help you through the things, Jessie. But you run, and
hide. I know for a fact you're on AIM a ton of times. You must pretend to be too
busy to unblock nobodies like me. That pisses me off too, as I want nothing but
to care for you and help you. *Sighs*

> You say that I’m now being rude as well, simply because I’m defending Jay
> and myself? Fucking grow up. You want to know the reasons why your friends
> turn on you? It’s because you’re acting like a CHILD! You can’t have what
> you want, so you throw a fucking temper tantrum.

Wrong. People are turning on me because they are selfish little cumwads. I've
got enough experience behind me to know what people are majorly like, what they
want of another person, and even if they don't say it, what their ulterior
motives are. Y'know, I don't see why you're behaving this way. Just because you
two are a couple doesn't mean you have to take hits and go berserk all over the
place. It's him that I have a bloody problem with, not you.
As for temper tantrums, I DO admit to that. Diagnozed depressive, with wild mood
swings. Before you tell me to medicine up - it was denied of me by my own
doctor. I'm stuck. But yes, I do get excessively jelaous. Heavily hating people
who flaunt off things has become a habit of mine. Though if they refrain from
mentioning their couples, something that makes me puke, we get along perfectly.
I just don't want to read about others' happiness like that, if I have none of
mine. Think "Support yourself before you support others" here, not what a
selfish fuck I am. I do plenty not to be.

> I gave you MANY chances. I’ve been quite tolerant with you, even when you
> did bother me on occasion. I didn’t mind. I don’t like being rude, or
> mean. But dammit, you should know by now that I can be an absolute BITCH
> when someone crosses a line with me. YOU have finally crossed that line,
> Blackwing. I hope you’re fucking well happy. YOU caused this damage to
> yourself, NOT me, and NOT Jay! >.<

Did you? Hmm, from telling me you want nothing to do in a romantic sense with
me, ever, during my suicide attempt up to you stalling away on AIM but keeping
me nice and blocked so I can't even talk to you, and not replying to the 1-2
mail I sent in-between? Oh, yeeeees. So many chances, I can count them on one
If you explained to me how you feel, felt like , what you want, what your
ambitions are...if you talked to me at all, I would've understood what a pillar
he is for you. But dear, that didn't happen.
I did no damage. My attack was directed at Jay, you took offense. Please don't
try to blame attacks on me, Jess.

But to make you happy, how about this. If the lump in my throat turns out to be
cancer as the doctors suspect, I will sell all I have and fly to Toronto for you
to finish me off. Or Jay, whichever you want. This isn't asking for pity, or
wanting you to feel that way. But try to see life through a man who is broken
and crippled, with nobody at his side to support him like...you have 2, for
instance. All I can do is live every day for myself until it's over. I DO live
for myself. But. I feel that others are a heavy part of me, somehow. Precisely
because of the shit I live in, I try to help people. Yes, I fuck up a lot. From
the point where the hated mateship came to be, I've mostly been sliding down.
When I helped 2 furs nearly breaking up, you know what they gave me as thanks?

A very serious death threat. Before then, all couples would do was bitch and
whine, drool on about the other. Whether or not that's "right" or the "norm",
you have to admit, it's okay to be happy, but not at the expense of others. My
faith with this love crap is broken. It doesn't exist, it's fake. Call it what
you want. But just try to think of yourself as a lone person with nobody to hug
and hold. Just try to imagine waking up each day only to go to sleep, alone.
It's like I said. If this is verified to be cancer, I'll let you do whatever you
want with me. *sighs*. Just don't be angry. I'm not worth getting pissed about.

Okay. Just a few things I felt I needed to mention. First, I have NO fucking clue why he even mentions Ganador. Or how he has the gall to even begin to compare Jay with Gan. That is the hugest fucking insult ever! I don’t know what this Blackwing dude thinks he knows about my past involvement with Mr. Ganador Rex, (since I don’t even bloody well know this guy outside of LJ and have never talked to him about anything even remotely personal!). But the fact of the matter is that a good chunk of my “relationship” with Gan was me arguing with him to no end to stop lying and cheating on his girlfirend(s) at the time. >.< Gan put me through a LOT of shit, and I am not proud of my past with him at all. Jay knows this, and so do a lot of my very close friends, who where there to actually see the torment that damn dragon put me through!! In fact Gan is a huge reason why I’ve had a hard time trusting being in this new relationship with Jay. To even BEGIN to compare Jay with Gan is just SICK. If anything, Blackwing is more like Ganador than Jay is! O.x

Second, all this shit about me “turning him down” at a time when he was suicidal is a bunch of bullshit. Yes, I had to tell him many times, NICELY at first, that there was no way that he’d be able to have any kind of romantic relationship with me. What the hell did he expect me to say? “Oh yes, of COURSE I’ll date you! Just don’t kill yourself!!” For crying out loud!

Third, I never “blocked” Blackwing from my AIM list. I have two AIM accounts. A public account for acquaintances, people I’m friendly with, but who I don’t know very well. I barely get on this one anymore. I’m on once in a blue moon at best, when I’m not busy with working at the vet clinic, or working on commissions. SOMETIMES I actually DO like getting on AIM to chat with people I haven’t see in a long time. I also have a very private AIM account, which I generally only give out to my really close friends, people who I’ve known for a while, and am comfortable with talking with on a more regular basis. Unfortunately however, due to Life, I just don’t have much time for AIM as much as I used to. Hell, half the time I’m on my private account, I’m STILL hiding from people, because otherwise I’ll get distracted, and I won’t get any work done.

Considering the few times I HAVE made a pause in my life in the past to get onto my general AIM account, JUST so that I can talk to Blackwing, to make him happy, you’d think that he just *might* actually appreciate the fact that I have been QUITE tolerant with him, until now. And meanwhile he’s going on about how Jay’s an arrogant bastard, who doesn’t appreciate what he has with me. *smirks* Fucking hypocrite!

Now, this is going out to everyone who may read my Live Journal (and if you’ve read all of this so far, you deserve a prize!): I do NOT ignore people because I feel that they are “nobodies” as he puts it. I am not an arrogant bitch who thinks so fucking highly of myself. I am JUST one person in this world, trying to live my life the best way that I can, without shit like THIS dropping on me from all sides, all of the freaking time! I’m sick of this kind of bullshit! I cannot be everyone’s best friend, just because they want me to. I will not drop everything just to bow to any person’s specific wishes. And I will NOT tolerate people who go on to have their little temper tantrums, just because they couldn’t get what they wanted out of me!!

I give everyone a fair chance. I’m a nice person, I’m sociable, and cheerful (most of the time!) But for FUCK sake, do NOT cross a line with me, or this bitch WILL bite! For goodness sake people, give me less reasons to rant about shit in my Live Journal! I LIKE my happy journals!! But DAMMIT, things like this just give me the worst need to vent! *grits her teeth!*


*sighs* Okay… I feel much better now…

Current Mood: aggravatedNot Impressed At All!!!

(127 comments | Leave a comment)

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[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 10:19 am (UTC)
I have to agree that his constant harping on how things make him _feel_ instead of how his actions may be disrespectful, wrong, and presumptuous, as a rationale for outlandish behavior, makes him more like Ganador than he'd like to admit.

Garnering sorrow and sympathy, hoping you go through the hell of another bad relationship so he has a "shot" at you, and trying to tug on your feelings by bringing up suicide as a means of manipulation is a very devious form of selfishness.

He's self-admittedly mentally ill and it's worthwhile to cut ties and not look back.

You just have the worst luck with dragons, sweetheart. *kiss*

Jay Naylor
Date:June 2nd, 2005 12:17 pm (UTC)
You know what I say to people who threaten suicide?

"What are you waiting for?"

It's mean, yes, but I have no sympathy for people who threaten suicide. If they want to kill themselves, they should just do it.
Date:June 2nd, 2005 10:35 am (UTC)
I sympathise with you, Blackwing tried to force me into text yiffing him for weeks. Blocking him just made him spam my email account

X3 Being antisocial is so much easier on the old hate gland *loves the invisible button on AIM*
[User Picture]
Date:June 3rd, 2005 02:25 am (UTC)
"*loves the invisible button on AIM*"

Oh, me too! ;) Best invention ever! :)
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 10:54 am (UTC)
Years ago I used to know someone like that. I spent months trying to change him, thinking I might have some positive influence on him. Didn't work out though. No use arguing with them; they're always right and can never be proven wrong.
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 11:39 am (UTC)
Ack...I knew Blackie was a bit obbsesive, but I didn't know any of this was going on. I'm sorry to hear he's been putting you through all of this, he tends to cling very easily to anyone that will show him a little caring, and then hate anyone that is close to that person for 'trying' to take them away from him. But then... he kinda did a similar thing with me with the whole Art coming to visit me thing. I wish I had more of a backbone to be decisive and not try to appease everyone.
Why did I have to ever mention to him that I knew you in the first place, now I feel bad that in a way I the one that let him get to this.
[User Picture]
Date:June 3rd, 2005 02:26 am (UTC)
Aww, don't feel bad! *hugs* It wasn't YOUR fault. ;)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:June 3rd, 2005 02:28 am (UTC)
Actually, artimas did, but I didn't think it would get this fucking crazy. O.x

Thanks for your e-mail, hun. *hugs* You're such a sweet lizard!!! ^.^
(Deleted comment)
Date:June 2nd, 2005 12:42 pm (UTC)
Yipe! What a pile of someone else's poop to have to deal with! :( I think you and Fisk were both quite restrained in your response to his babbling. Yeesh. It sounds like it's a good thing he's in Hungary.. at least you don't have to deal with him showing up in person.

I hope you can get this sorted out and behind you soon. *hugs n wags if you want 'em* :)
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 01:04 pm (UTC)

I feel you sister :hugs:. When people turn into....pardon the experession....fucktards and don't give you personal space and doing BS like this cut them loose. You don't have time for this kind of nonsense. You have better things to do with your life, as you said.

For the record me and djagokemono are behind you 100% in what it is that you do. We understand that your busy and you keep to yourself for private reasons such as getting your work done, therefore we don't hold anything against you. You are a swell person Jessie and we see a good future ahead of you. Just don't let this kind of crap get you down, ok?^^

:gives you a great big kitty hugs:

Date:June 3rd, 2005 01:18 am (UTC)
I have to disargee with you, anyone can be helped, it just depends on how much determination you have in willing to help them.

When your goal in life is to help those in pain, and when you have the ability to calm even the most trouble of spirits, with time you are able to work with them and help them with there problems.
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 01:33 pm (UTC)
Do what you gotta do Jessie. I don't think anyone who truly cares for you would begrudge you your happiness with others to keep you all to themself.

Some people cannot be helped, I learned this in highschool. No matter how much you try to help them, to make their life better or more stable or whatever, they continue with their self destructive behavior. My solution has allways been "Let them go." if anything bad happens to them it's not your fault, it's theirs. Don't let them suck your energy and happiness, you need that stuff for you >.<

Peace hun, I'll be on the channel Friday, chat with you then if you're on.
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 02:17 pm (UTC)
Uncle foxy is always right. Told you he was a mess. :)

Sinnead sends kissies to make you feel better *wurf*wurf*
[User Picture]
Date:June 3rd, 2005 02:41 am (UTC)
You're SO very smart. ;)

*gives pets to Sinnead*
Date:June 2nd, 2005 02:28 pm (UTC)
You mean that being a total pest does NOT impress you and turn you on?!

*scratches that off of his to-do list*


Just kidding, so allow me to retract before you kill me (hides from scary wuff icon) ;)

I know how nice you are, but ya really gotta just tell this dragon to fuck off and then block him. Just one hoss' opinion. Ya know, when you first mentioned Jay I said to myself, "well, there goes any chance I might've had" but I wasn't all psycho or depressed about it. Also, The more time has gone by, the more I have seen that we don't even know each other and all of the teasing I used to give you was just some ridiculous crush I had because you're so cool ^^ (and cute)

If ya wanna know what I think, I think that you've got a good thing going and that Jay seems like a cool cat. Hell, Better Days is on my webcomic list! Only thing about him that makes me wonder...what's up with the incest?! (in Better Days LOL) that was just weird.

So I guess what I'm getting at, is the dragon is an asshole who's not even worth worrying about. I say, as if you and everyone else commenting here didn't know already. Just wanted to let ya know that I'm on your side ^^


PS: What the HELL is up with this Ganador guy anyway...how come he gets to date all the females that I'd be interested in?! (referring to Aura too)

*chagrined* XD
[User Picture]
Date:June 3rd, 2005 02:42 am (UTC)
Thanks hon. ;) *huggles*
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 02:43 pm (UTC)


We'll just take him out back next con ;)
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 08:45 pm (UTC)

Re: *coughs*

Out back.. on the 27th floor ;p
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 02:53 pm (UTC)
What a creepy bastard. >x.X<

I tripped across this on friendsfriends, and I know y'don't know me, but thought I'd send a hug out to a fellow fandom sister anyway, because that is just a MESS. *hugs*

Here's luck to you on your relationship with Jay. Being treated right is something every girl deserves.
Date:June 2nd, 2005 03:17 pm (UTC)
fancy meetin' you here ;P

'sup? ^^
Date:June 2nd, 2005 03:25 pm (UTC)
This guy added me to his list, and I like dragons, and he was friends with some of my other friends, so I added him back. At the time I was feeling kinda depressed, and he was trying to talk to me over AIM and telling me he loved me and hoped I would feel better. I was like.... OOOKAY creepy person. He was like," I love all my friends and I want to see them happy." and it eventually got so creepy that I blocked him and took him off my LJ.

Later I found out that he'd been saying shit about me being an asshole towards him when he was only trying to help. Ugh. Seems like he acts this way towards everyone.

And yeah... heaven forbid Jay should say what's on his mind in his own journal. Shame on him. =P
Date:June 2nd, 2005 03:34 pm (UTC)


...back in 2004 at the start of the year I had a guy similiar to this guy clinging to me. It was fine and dandy until he tried playing the S-card (suicidee card). Unfortunately suicide is a weak spot of mine for that is how my dad died. When I realized he was using it for his advantage I got real pissed off.

Guilt trips...real fun....you know.....my mom was queen of guilt trips...actually she ran her own fucking travel agency.

[User Picture]
Date:June 3rd, 2005 02:46 am (UTC)

Re: Hmm...

Yeah, I got rather pissed off when he started using the whole suicide thing as a guilt trip factor, since I have a friend who actually DID almost kill himself! Not very cool, at all. >:(

*hugs and thanks!*
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 03:55 pm (UTC)
Sorry to hear you're having troubles with this guy. I'd just recommend you block all contact with him. He reminds me of a little yippy terrier barking behind his owners leg, tho in this case you are not the owner :P

The important thing is you and you r bloke didn't let him drive a wedge between you. As you say, he pushed the line, time he was out of your life. At least until he learns to behave...
[User Picture]
Date:June 3rd, 2005 02:47 am (UTC)
I doubt he'll ever learn to behave. >.< *hugshugs!*
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 04:58 pm (UTC)
So what's my prize for reading all of this? ;)

Seriously... it's been said many times here, and better than I could say it, but to hell with this guy - Only a handful of a percentage of people who threaten suicide actually commit it, others are just looking for people to intervene on their behalf.

Any further commentary by him in any medium, including his own, should be wholly ignored. And if he starts badmouthing you, remind those affected of the source. Point them to this post. They'll understand.

*hugs the wuff* Miss ya down here too, hon. Come back and visit soon!
[User Picture]
Date:June 3rd, 2005 02:48 am (UTC)
I'll be visiting you guys in July, right after Anthrocon! And your prize is a BIG hug when I see you! ;) *HUGS!*
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 05:43 pm (UTC)

What is it with dragons?

Good Gods... What a creep. Blackwing can't/won't see past his own nose and likes to hear himself talk. He's looks to be the type to always be the victim, no matter how much help anyone gives him. You and Jay are far more diplomatic and tolerant of this sort of idiocy than I'll ever be.

In any case, sounds like it might be a good time to get out the ban_set™, even if just for the peace of mind of not having to deal with him. :P

Btw - I didn't know you and Jay were datin', but I wish you two all the best! And hey, I miss you too... and you're local!
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 05:49 pm (UTC)


Damn. I almost feel bad.. I sparked world war .... well, there have been a lot of them.

This is why I decided not to reply more than once on that thread in Jay's journal. Blackwing's response to my first one just rang on the stalker radar pretty hard. Sorry I somewhat started anythin. But I have the feeling it would have, (and probably will) persist anyways.
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 10:37 pm (UTC)

Re: O.o

Don't worry about it. I think you more or less just pulled the curtain back so he could burst forth in all his glory. I was always wary of him.
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 06:24 pm (UTC)
I remember last year at some point bitching at charmaster510 or whatever his name is for being a complete tool...even though I can't remember what the reason was anymore (had something to do with Ashton I think). It was something unimaginably glaring though. Your little leech there started trying to talk to me like he liked me, saying he wanted to be 'motherly' towards me or something. I promptly told him to stuff it because that was creepy as hell, especially the way he was talking about it.

As far as dragons go from my experience is there's three kinds. One, there's people who are fucked in the head like Gannie-poo and Blackie, etc etc. Two, there's the artist type dragon people, like Fireeyes, Aisling, tons of others. Three, there's the ones who hang out on places like draconic.com who aren't psychotic beyond belief. There seems to be the majority of type One, and an equal sprinkling of types Two and Three. Type One is the main reason why I've shoved Pyron so damn far off to the side lately even though I wish I didn't have to. :( God damned freaks.
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 09:58 pm (UTC)
This is charmaster510's new journal. It had nothing to do with Ashton, but rather my attempts to be nice to cnipur, when I was venomously attacked by his now-mate, darkcougar. I'll admit that I wasn't the greatest with words, and now in order to avoid his immature bashing, I've avoided speaking to both parties. Now it's a dead issue, though I'm rather curious as to what happened to ashtonhammer, anyway.

If I did something wrong and made myself come across as a tool, I'm sorry. I'll admit that I didn't go about keeping friendships in the best ways, and I've gotten over it. I hope you don't still have any resentment toward me.

Nowadays I'd consider myself in your second category, since I spend more time writing and being inspired philosophically than putting up with drama. In fact, some of my recent posts have been rants about drama, which I essentially refuse to participate in, except to learn more about other people in as unbiased a way as possible.
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 07:15 pm (UTC)
Let's see.. my list of stupid male dragons I know...

Mr. Dragon (the guy that was harassingcatwoman69y2k
Ganadork, a manipulative practicing heterosexual
BlackWingDragon, For trying to use cancer and sarcasm as a way of guilting me.

Let's see how big my list gets... *gets his pen ready*

Times like this I so want them to be a 16th century choir boy. *snippysnip!*
[User Picture]
Date:June 4th, 2005 12:49 am (UTC)
I better not end up on that list! :D
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 07:25 pm (UTC)
What a complete and utter psycho. O.o

"OMFG you can't ever be happy and I can't ever hear your BF talk about you because I'm trying to kill myself here and I might have CANCER!!!!1!!one!1!"

Where on EARTH is this guy's brain LOCATED?!

Heh, if he really WERE suicidal, he'd be HAPPY to hear about the cancer! It'd take care of the job FOR him!

And going back and forth from 'I deserve to be with you 'cause I've been crushin' on you for centuries' to 'Love doesn't exist and it'll all burn out in a matter of moments' just makes me crack up. ;)

Good grief. Sweetie, you and everyone you hang out with needs to simply ignore him. Don't reply to his LJ comments, don't write back to his emails, don't let him contact you on IM, *anything*. He'll get bored and move on to the next victim after a few more outbursts.
Date:June 2nd, 2005 09:30 pm (UTC)
that's a very angry face you're wearing...yikes

Hi, how've you been? ^^
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 08:48 pm (UTC)
Need some 24 hour rabies? That way when you bite it leave some nice reminders to stay the hell away.

Poor you.


Im when you have a chance so I can do pre-registrations.
[User Picture]
Date:June 2nd, 2005 09:39 pm (UTC)
Three things about blackwingdragon.

He is a spoiled child.
He is a nutter.
He is a manipulative stalker.

Let this rant about him be your last dealings with him. If he e-mails you, do not reply back. He thrives on the attention, negative or positive. He will not commit suicide - he's been talking about doing so for years now. Just quit feeding him. Cut all contact. He'll never learn if you people keep giving him attention like this.
[User Picture]
Date:June 3rd, 2005 02:54 am (UTC)
He's already been banned from my LJ, blocked from my AIM lists, and blocked from my e-mail. I'm only really pissed because after close to two years of being an off-on acquaintance of his, he's had the gall to cross such a line with me. >.< He really needs to just grow up.
Date:June 3rd, 2005 01:13 am (UTC)
Blackwing is a very lonley dragon, I've known him for a bit but he's truly a great guy, you just have to look past his outside into the inside.

He's jealous, since his relationships haven't been the best, and people have hurt him in the past, it's a normal reaction to want love quickly, and I did to in my younger years, but as I've aged I've began to know that love comes in many forms.

He just wants to be held thats all, loved, he seeks mateship and I would never ask you to date a person you don't like but he just craves love and yearns for it, for he has not been given it in the past. I was the same way to, it's just he's struggling to find ground in which he can hold onto.

[User Picture]
Date:June 3rd, 2005 01:32 am (UTC)
[look past his outside into the inside]

Yep, he's done a fine job of showing his inside. Between calling love "hormonic" and "disgusting," then saying that he eagerly awaits the day they fight and part... that says a lot about his inside. Like "Hazardous Waste."

[He's jealous]

No, jealous is wanting what other people have for yourself. Psychotic is trying to guilt and control somebody with threats of suicide and claims to having cancer, in between bouts of decrying her boyfriend... and making a habit of it.
[User Picture]
Date:June 3rd, 2005 05:07 am (UTC)

Sorry if this is long winded...

Jessie, if you haven't blocked blackwing already, I'd say do so now. He has all the classical signs of being a psycho stalker as well as rather screwed up in the head. I fear for your safety.

And as for him unloading his depression on you, that's just downright mean. And he can think I'm not depressed all he wants, but he'd be wrong. I've been there, I've done that, and for some strange ass reason, I'm still here (but not from lack of trying, let me tell you).

He needs to get it through his thick damned skull that you do NOT belong to him or to Jay. You belong to yourself. And as for love being fleeting... honey, let me tell you, a relationship isn't just fluffy bunnies and nice flowers, it's a lot of damned HARD work. That's why most people fail at their relationships - they're lazy. I'm married to a man I love, a man who is going to be the father of my child in about ... three months now. If someone were to ask 'So, everything is just peachy keen and sunshine and daisies, right?' Hell no, it isn't. Most days, I want to rip his fucking head off and slam him against the walls he aggrivates me so much. But, there is that certain something that makes me forgive his bullshit each and every time and want to love on him again. THAT is love.

As for your hatred of couples ... look the other fucking way. That, or get over your damned self and your 'curse' and actually try to get along with a fellow human long enough to form a relationship. Don't get psycho and drive them away. Just because you don't have someone doesn't mean you need to shit on other people's day.

And Blackwing, don't you DARE lay your depression and suicidal tendancies on Jessie. Those are not her fault, those are yours and your lack of control. Nor, if you really DO care about her, should you lay your medical problems at her feet. That's just being a major fucking asshole! From just the email above, you really ARE selfish.

Open your fucking eyes, Blackwing. Life is pain. And there is such a thing as love and no ... it isn't all just hormones. Wake the fuck up! And as for Jessie ... she's just as normal as anyone you could pass on the street. Sure, she has talent, sure she's nice. But she's not a Goddess. She's a friend.
[User Picture]
Date:June 4th, 2005 12:14 am (UTC)

Re: Sorry if this is long winded...

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