My computer’s working again! torrle came over last night, and helped me reformat, and stuff. So my browser’s working again. Yay! ^^ Also had a meeting at work today, and it looks like I’ll be getting my review near the end of September/early October. And Kim finally quit for good this time, so I’ve been told. Apparently I missed a whole huge spat yesterday. O.< So I guess it’s a good thing I offered to take over Sunday mornings last week, since I would have had to anyway, now that Kim is gone. So, I’ll be working seven days a week now, and Sheila’s already talking about giving me more hours. Not quite sure how I feel about that… On one hand it means more money, and that’s always good. On the other hand, it means that I won’t be able to take as much time off, and my friends will get mad at me because I can’t spend as much time with them… :/
Which also got me to thinking today… why is it that sometimes when you try to help a friend, it can backfire on you, and you just end up looking like the bad guy? Maybe it serves me right for trying to help someone when they never really asked for it… I really should learn to just keep my mouth shut. Because any advice I try to give is usually ignored, and then I hear about the same crap later, and it makes me want to scream.
By the way, this post is NOT directed to anyone in specific… I have quite a few friends in situations that I see cause them stress and frustration, and they sometimes come to me with their problems. It makes me sad when I give them suggestions of what they could do to improve their lives, and then they don’t… they keep themselves in situations which hurt them, and all I can do it sit there and watch, not able to do anything or say anything. >.< Then when they come to me later with their problems, I’m blunt, and then suddenly I hear myself, and I sound like an absolute bitch. I can’t help it. If people can’t help themselves, or refuse to, then I can’t be bothered to care about the situation anymore.
But to those of you out there who know me, weather it’s been for years, or only for months, am I a selfish person? Am I really just this evil person who puts on the Nice Girl act? Am I arrogant, and do I flaunt myself openly? Maybe I do sometimes, and just don’t see it. If anyone’s seen this in me, be honest and please let me know.
I don’t think I’m perfect. I can’t say I’ve never lied, (or just avoided the truth anyway) or made any mistakes, because I HAVE made mistakes, and I’ve tried to learn from them so that I don’t repeat them. I try my best to be honest and open with people. True, sometimes I don’t always pick the best ways to do things, but again, I can admit when I’m wrong. But I try to look out for people, weather they’re my friends or not. I try not to hate anyone, I try to see good in everyone and give everyone a fair chance. I try to do the right things, and I stick by the people I care about and hope that they will eventually do what’s right for them as well.
Maybe it’s because everyone is so used to people trying to intentionally hurt others, that no one trusts or believes it when someone is genuinely trying to be helpful or do a good deed JUST for the sake of trying to do good. Maybe I should just stop trying… No one seems to want help anymore anyway.