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No Bad Deed Should Go Unpunished - Jessie T. Wolf
March 14th, 2004
02:03 am

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No Bad Deed Should Go Unpunished
Chaos! Yes, this was potoroo’s place tonight. About a million furs showed up to the Feral Party, a LOT more people than anyone was really expecting, and a good bit I didn’t know. So I spent the first bit of the meeting being rather antisocial because the crowd was bigger than what I’m used to, and I was also having a really hard time pushing recent stresses to the back of my mind.

I felt really awful tonight… I’ve had a lot on my mind, that I’ve had to keep bottled up for the past while. WAY long while, and it’s finally starting to crack down on me to the point where I really can’t handle it anymore. Tonight for the first time ever, I was at a furry gathering… and I was miserable, and this… shit… has finally pained me enough that it’s beginning to affect my ability to socialize. And I broke down… in the middle of a PARTY, I broke down and had to run upstairs and just ball my eyes out.

I love you iron_raptor, I really do… you’ve been there for me through thick and thin, throughout this entire mess, and I couldn’t be more grateful to have such a wonderful friend as you. I felt like such an idiot for breaking down and crying at the party tonight… but I just couldn’t hold it back any longer. Thank you for being there for me, and helping to make me feel less of a fool. And thanks to my other friends, ashbearfox for listening to me gripe, and to torrle for giving me warm cuddles.

After some alcohol and pizza and LOTS of hugs, cuddles, scritches and backrubs, I’m feeling a LOT better now. I gave Potoroo my Feral ‘05 ad pic, and he was very impressed with it, so I’m glad. I wish I could afford to go to Camp Feral this year, but I don’t know if I’ll have enough money after AC. I got to chat with silfur tonight too, which was nice since I haven’t seen him in a good long while. And got more rubs from teh seksay wily (I can still feel where you bit me!! *grins* Rar) and finally got in some good chatting and snuggle (and more biting!) time with niccibear, who later on swept me off into Wily’s room. ;) Heh, I liked hanging with you guys tonight. You all really helped to pick this wolfy up. You guys rock! *sniffle*

This was originally going to be a more angsty/bitchy post, but I’m too tired to be pissed off right now. And sore, and bruised. I will sleep well tonight.

Current Mood: disappointeddisappointed

(24 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments
 
[User Picture]
From:pat_the_fox
Date:March 14th, 2004 12:14 am (UTC)
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*whimpers and curls by the wolfie's bed in spirit to ward off any ill that comes to you and protect you from it*
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From:wggthegnoll
Date:March 14th, 2004 09:32 am (UTC)
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I should have known you had an LJ, in spirit of finding you I've created an icon from the drawing you made for me at my birthday a couple years ago - hope you don't mind. Actually, if you'd be willing to colour it I would be very greatful *paw-paws*

I wish I could have made it to the party last night, I had some previous plans I could get out of so I was unable to go. You should come to the GFB next weekend, I'm thinking of going. You're probably too busy though *sulks*
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From:wlfdog
Date:March 14th, 2004 11:23 am (UTC)
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Hey! I added you to my friends list. :) And naw, I dun mind you using the pic I made you as an icon. ^^ If I ever get a chance I'll color your pic. :) I dunno if I'll be able to make GFB this time around... haven't been to one in ages. But then again I haven't had any money, and no one's been able to give me ride. I've got a pretty steady workload for the rest of this month, but I'll try to make it for the next one if I can! I miss hanging with everyone. O.o Hopefully we can hook up sometimes soon. :) *paws back*
[User Picture]
From:pat_the_fox
Date:March 14th, 2004 12:57 pm (UTC)
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The ride thing may change, I'm beguinning to be able to steal my parents van every now and then.
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From:wlfdog
Date:March 14th, 2004 01:07 pm (UTC)
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Eesh... are you sure you'll be okay to drive for the next little while...? *snugs*
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From:pat_the_fox
Date:March 14th, 2004 04:03 pm (UTC)
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*merfs* Unfortunately I have been having too..I stillhave to post that event in my lj.. but I seem ok, I'm just going to avoid too much city road driving during the night hours.
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From:torrle
Date:March 15th, 2004 11:21 am (UTC)
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Even if he can't, I'll probably be going too. :) You know yer more than welcome to be my copilot.
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From:wlfdog
Date:March 15th, 2004 11:29 am (UTC)
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I think I will actually have to pass on the GFB this time around. I'm still broke and I really hate having people pay for me EVERY single time... I know you guys say you don't mind, but it's just not really right and I feel bad that I have nothing to chip in. Plus I DO still have a lot of artwork I need to finish within the next two weeks, so it's probably best if I don't really go out much anymore until I have everything I need to get done, done. O.o *hugs tight* Thanks for the offer though, Torrle!
[User Picture]
From:wggthegnoll
Date:March 14th, 2004 09:35 pm (UTC)
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Well, next time there's an excuse to go hang out in the Toronto area let me know and I'll try to make it.
From:niccibear
Date:March 14th, 2004 11:34 am (UTC)
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~snugs~

yes your right, you SHOULD have come. ~grrrs~
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From:wggthegnoll
Date:March 14th, 2004 09:39 pm (UTC)
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I didn't know you were going! Ya should have told me, oh well, next time.

Do you ever make it to the GFBs? (they're nice and close for me)

*nuzz*
From:niccibear
Date:March 15th, 2004 08:06 am (UTC)
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Dude..I might as well live in the houe the party was held in...and it was a Feral promo party and I'm the activities coordinator for Feral. whenever theres a party at that house, i'm almost always there.

Mind you I left at 11 with wily to go clubbing..but I was there most of the night. And back at like 3 whenpeople were just leaving...
I got attacked on my way to bed by a bunch of gay male furries...they hugged me and cornered me...and then I bit roo to get away..

ANYWAYS yeah come out n party some time..and no I dont make them.
[User Picture]
From:rexxwolfe
Date:March 14th, 2004 09:55 am (UTC)
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* hugs jessie tight* You know we will be there for you I wish I Saw you leave so I could have gone and hugged you tight You knwo you have Raptor's and my full support. You've gone through enough crap and you deserve to be happy. * hugs* despite yours and my sour moods we had some fun:)
" I need it to live!"
From:jean_luccougar
Date:March 14th, 2004 12:29 pm (UTC)
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Hi Jessie. I was going to be at that Feral party but you know, shit came up and I had to cancel. Would've been nice to see you again....

-Winter Tw Wolf
[User Picture]
From:wlfdog
Date:March 14th, 2004 01:08 pm (UTC)
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Yeah... sorry you couldn't make it. It was REALLY crowded though, and I doubt you would have wanted to be around me much with the mood I was in. O.o
From:jean_luccougar
Date:March 15th, 2004 09:29 am (UTC)
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*Shrug*

I'd liked to have helped...
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From:firesplace
Date:March 14th, 2004 12:59 pm (UTC)
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(snugs warmly!) I hope everything gets cleared up, and the next furry gathering you make it to goes more smoothly!
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From:wlfdog
Date:March 14th, 2004 01:10 pm (UTC)
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Thanks! *snugs back* ^^
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From:auradeva
Date:March 14th, 2004 03:35 pm (UTC)
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you've got one of the clearest minds and warmest hearts out there! Don't forget that you're never alone, even when things get tough. *snugs*
[User Picture]
From:iron_raptor
Date:March 14th, 2004 03:41 pm (UTC)
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I agree with Aura on this one Jess. You ALWAYS can count on me. I worry about you, and it pains me you have to deal with this stress that can so EASILY be avoided. *snug*

I'll try and come by Monday or something. Though I think I'm coming down with something, and nobody wants to see a sick raptor... :P
[User Picture]
From:lapistigra
Date:March 14th, 2004 05:17 pm (UTC)
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Try not to let it affect you anymore. The ball is in their court so to speak. You've done everything you can to ease the transition and I'm glad you aren't backing down. You are a wonderful woman who deserves the world to kiss your feet, not give you headaches. *HUG*
[User Picture]
From:geekbear74
Date:March 14th, 2004 06:06 pm (UTC)

I hear you.

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:gives you a big Tiger Hug: heya, im glad things are working out. you got your problems worked out and you kept your beleifs,convictions, whathaveyou, standing your ground firmly. I too had to do the same thing when i was breaking things off with my former mate Kit. He wanted to be freinds with me after we broke up but the way he was abusive to me i said no and told him to bug off regardless what he said or how he reacted.
So in other words, I hear you. Other than that I hope things are ok and I hope your two dogs are well too. I'll give your big brother your hugs k? Be well :) -Rusty.
[User Picture]
From:wlfdog
Date:March 14th, 2004 11:46 pm (UTC)

Re: I hear you.

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Kay... thankies.. *snugs to both da tiggy and her big bro*
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From:kamberlane
Date:March 15th, 2004 03:12 am (UTC)
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You did what you had to and what you should. You are a warm person and a stronger one now. It is sad and pathetic that some people cannot accept the consequences of their own actions and own up to them instead of making a play for more sympathy. I am proud of you. You did what you had too and although you may think it a wealness to bail out and cry, its not. Weakness would be keeping it in for no good reason.

Be good Jessie.
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