?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Do Furs NOT Know What "Personal Space" Is?? - Jessie T. Wolf
February 7th, 2004
11:52 pm

[Link]

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
Do Furs NOT Know What "Personal Space" Is??
Seriously. O.o I know that frisket17 had the same problem recently too, but I'm just adding my own two sense here. I recently got a new commission, and the guy asked me if we could swap IM info so that we could keep in contact that way. I have no problem with this, so I said yes. What I DO have a problem with is when the first thing I'm messaged is, "Hugs, and licks your muzzle."

Okay, a note to everyone out there reading this, if I don't know you, PLEASE don't greet me like that. I don't like it. It does the very opposite of making me want to be your friend. It makes me very uncomfortable and snappy, and I'll only want to stay the hell away from you.

I'm very friendly and happy, and I like meeting new people. But there's a very fine line between making friends, and then just talking to people for the sake of being friendly and social. Just because I talk to you once in a while doesn't automatically make me your friend. In fact I talk to so many people off and on, that sometimes I forget who is who. I don't mean to, it's just one of those things that tend to happen to most artists in the fandom.

Now, I'm not trying to be a bitch here. But there are just certain things you don't do. Being overly friendly with someone you don't even know is one of those things that you just don't do. Especially when asking for a commission from me! O.o I like to keep that kind of thing very professional, and don't like things getting personal. So please, if you wanna talk commissions, let's just stick to talking business.

I know a lot of people. I have a lot of general friends; people which I've known for a while, and who actually know personal things about me. And even then, my circle of VERY close, best friends of many years is even smaller. If you want to chat and be friendly with me, I'm all up for it! Just please keep in mind that I'm not the mushy cuddly type with people I don't know, and I'm not just going to put my entire trust into you, and tell you everything about myself right away.

Friendships are built. They don’t just come already assembled.

Current Mood: annoyedannoyed

(17 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments
 
[User Picture]
From:frisket17
Date:February 7th, 2004 10:38 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Totally n' utterly agree. I think people that think too much into the furry thing when they meet someone for the first time need to be castrated.

I think it's rude and a violation of personal space as well as sexual harassment on some small degree. -- Personal and business should be separate. I've failed to tell any of the freaks I've dealt with to fuck off.. even though Ty is nudging me to .. I jus' feel guilty although they piss me off

Some people are creepy n' dont' -realize- they're creepy and can't figure out a good/nice way to tell them they make me want to claw my skin off.
[User Picture]
From:wlfdog
Date:February 7th, 2004 11:49 pm (UTC)

Re:

(Link)
Yeah, I tend to feel guilty about telling people to back off as well. :/ I don't like feeling like I'm being rude or anything. Sides, the last thing I need is for someone to take it the wrong way and then start spreading crap about how much of a bitch I am or something. O.o *flicks her ears*
[User Picture]
From:pat_the_fox
Date:February 8th, 2004 02:33 am (UTC)

Re:

(Link)
I have a philosophy. Some people can't take sugar coated candy, they get lost in the sweetness and forget the meaning. For them you need the frying pan, blunt and to the point.
From:khakiwolf
Date:February 8th, 2004 07:49 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Meh, it's part of the fandom. Honestly, you get used to it after a while. Personally, I'm the affectionate type. I like to be friendly, as opposed to ignoring people or acting pissy all the time. It's easier to make friends that way.

But if people are turned off by my friendly mood, I'm usually good about laying off on the "scritches". But I hate when people get all in my face like I just groped their crotch or something. People who can't accept furs being friendly/snuggly towards them should maybe choose another fandom to be a part of.
[User Picture]
From:artimas
Date:February 7th, 2004 11:13 pm (UTC)
(Link)
you would probably wanna give them a fair warning before hand: "no cute stuff, lets just get to business alright?" something like that... but that might turn them off and that will prolly get them not to commission you anymore. i guess they want to feel comfortable with the artist they commission? o-O

who knows... some furs are scarey some aren't. but yea, a little fair warning to these guys would do the trick?
[User Picture]
From:wlfdog
Date:February 7th, 2004 11:54 pm (UTC)

Re:

(Link)
Well, I did tell him to stop, and if we could please just keep things on a professional business level. He said ok, but then just went really quiet. I somehow have a feeling that I won't be doing this commission anymore. O.o $50 gone bye bye. >.<

Well, I suppose it's not as bad as that time I got a commish, and the guy thought I was a dude, and then freaked out when he found out I was a chick. :-P He actually started hitting on me because he thought I was male. That was so stupid, but funny at the same time.
[User Picture]
From:artimas
Date:February 8th, 2004 12:54 am (UTC)

Re:

(Link)
that icon is too cute XD

LOL yea i remember that. what ever happened to him? hehehe he was a funny case XD try to be a lil more open with them and i guess tolerate them till the job is done? unless they go all 'sad' on ya, then you just boot them off. you know like "stares up into the stars and moon and sighs deeply" that kind of crap =3 everyone is trying to be someone friend ya know? well anyhoo, that's about it... now i will just giggle and awww because of that cute icon of yours. =3
[User Picture]
From:iron_raptor
Date:February 7th, 2004 11:27 pm (UTC)
(Link)
One thing I've noticed in quite a few (not all, but a few) of the furs in the fandom is that they have problems socializing. Usually they're too forward, they're too 'in-your-face', too pushy, or.. heh. have roaming hands, or spend a good chunk of the initial greeting staring at your chest.

Every now and again, a fur needs a good swift kick in the ass to remind them that a girl's face is NOT located at chest level, and that hugging a total stranger can and will invite a boot to the head. :P

^_^ Thusly I'm offering my services as bodyguard for hire. ^_^ All I ask in payment is hawt wet secks, or renamon smut. :D
[User Picture]
From:wlfdog
Date:February 7th, 2004 11:55 pm (UTC)

Re:

(Link)
You already got your Renamon smutt from me! I demand free service! *LOL* ;)
[User Picture]
From:iron_raptor
Date:February 8th, 2004 12:00 am (UTC)

Re:

(Link)
Really??? You want free.. 'service' eh? *evil grin* Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
[User Picture]
From:pat_the_fox
Date:February 8th, 2004 02:32 am (UTC)

Re:

(Link)
Down Raptor *tink* *tink* *tink* *tink* *tink* *tink* can't ever get enough of doing this. *tink* *tink* *tink* *tink* *tink*
[User Picture]
From:iron_raptor
Date:February 8th, 2004 01:00 pm (UTC)

Re:

(Link)
HEY!!! *starts doing it to the fox now* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk* *bonk*

How many lumps would you like? :)
[User Picture]
From:theregaltigress
Date:February 8th, 2004 04:13 am (UTC)
(Link)
I think part of the interesting thing is that there is a generation now raised on "LOL OMG HOW R U?!?!?" etc., and cannot fathom why other people want to scream when they see that kind of typing. Similarly, I think there are a large number of "furries" (I'm not saying all, but there are a large, select group) that seems to think greetings of cuddling, nuzzling, etc. is totally normal for all people. While if you are in an "in" group it might be common, it's far from in most reaches of the "real" world. I don't go up to my boss and nuzzle him "hello!" or something similar, but for many people, this line is blurred, especially online.

People seem to get into a system of meet and greet (sometimes connected to some form of fursona or avatar) without thinking "what if the other person isn't really into the roleplaying thing?" or something similar, and by the Gods I understand where you're coming from, wlfdog, because I've had to deal with that sort of stuff from commissioners too, and sometimes it's really hard to not offend, which is why I now don't do "business" over AIM. :-/

Take Care,
-Kymba
[User Picture]
From:rexxwolfe
Date:February 8th, 2004 08:32 am (UTC)
(Link)
Try * gropes you* as yoru first greeting I gues this is where my mind can go closed i dotn care if its pride or anything there are social standards for conduct gay str8 bI zoo what ever. The stupid double standards of conduct thrown out the window. Fuck I get relaly pissed when folks assume oh your a furry that makes you Gay or a dude Heh And DUH you dont even KNOW what your talking to on the other end of the screen so why would you embarass yourself? I dunno But who needs body Guards? I just fucking step on the little germs;) * STOMP* But I too agree just because your a furry and your bi gay whatever. Does not give you the right to act liek a total slut and do say anything you want. Comon You have feelings and so does the person yoru treating like Some object has feelings. Heh Then again I do play around online but my first greeting as much as i can remember maybe save when i was drunk once hey lets yiff. Fuck its annoying I think everyoner here knows that we have some socially challenged folks in the fandom who think furry is a way they can do and say whatever they liek and its cool. well Its not cool in my books. usually when i want to ge tto know someone onlien i do typical small talk, maybe the odd hug and try to ease into things test the waters before you just assume. * hugs Jessie* Anyway I can crush them for you i'm good at stepping on stuff!
From:khakiwolf
Date:February 8th, 2004 07:46 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Personally, I'm very affectionate and friendly, both online and irl. I tend to hug, scrich, snug, fuzzle, etc, people I hardly know. Or people I don't know at all. Because it's something I'm just used to doing.

I know it's kinda odd, and maybe creepy, but honestly, I hate the people who are like "OMG you creepy loser! I am ignoring you now because you scritched me without permission! OMG!" Does it' it sound stupid for someone to say," Um... hey... can I hug you?" Not to mention that it's online. It's not like they are snugging you irl or anything.

It's something you should just accept as part of the fandom, and if it bothers you, just ignore it. But don't go overboard. If you're uncomfy, tell them (nicely) and ask them to stop. I've been kicked, bitten, etc, a few times. It's just rude.
[User Picture]
From:iron_raptor
Date:February 8th, 2004 11:44 pm (UTC)

Re:

(Link)
Ugh... well that's a valid point. However, therein lies the conundrum, to impose your touchy-feelyness upon others, or have others impose their sense of personal space to avoid random acts of touchy-feelyness. It's a tough thing to try and draw that line because the ground is constantly shifting. :/
[User Picture]
From:rexxwolfe
Date:February 9th, 2004 10:15 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Exactly, Ya see its okay to do somethings but a line willbe drawn A my ass is a no touch zone same with my crotch and hugs are okay but like usually you can tellif someone pulsl away a bit or says they dont liek it then dont do it. I'm okay with a scritch and a hug but if i sense wandering paws from anyone i do not trust then get ready to be hit kicked and or bitten>:) Ima wolf and that also makes me a tad territorial>;)
My Website Powered by LiveJournal.com