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Bloody Hell... - Jessie T. Wolf
January 22nd, 2004
08:07 pm

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Bloody Hell...
Ghaaargh! I need to get out of this house and DO something! All I can do is sit in front of a computer all day and chat about nothing with people... I watch movies on TV... I wait and wait and wait for Master to come online so that I can just collapse in his virtual arms and sob my poor tired eyes out. >.< The weather stops me from going out to visit friends.. because of this cold.. I'm so very reluctant to even set foot outside lately... About the only time I'm happy now a days is if my friends come to visit me, which thankfully is at least once a week, otherwise I think I'd probably go nuts being cooped up in this basement. O.o

My apologies to my friends for being so bitchy lately… it’s just that I’ve had a lot on my mind and everything seems to be frustrating me these days. Especially my artwork. For those of you who are close to me, you know I’ve been going through a bout of “I can’t draw a friggin stick figure” for the past two weeks or so. I jokingly blame Iron Raptor for stealing my artistic Karma, but I think the real reason why is because Blue’s not around anymore, and I’m finally starting to feel the effects. >.< Ever since she moved out, I’ll be lucky if I can get a half decent drawing done, and now the only way I can draw anything good is if Raptor is over. Gives me my artistic vibe back, somehow.

I feel particularly bad for not being able to handle a commission that I took up from a friend… I got frustrated because I couldn’t draw the angles he wanted. I spent a whole day sketching things off the top of my head, but couldn’t get it right, because what he wanted seemed impossible for me to do. Describing it is easy enough, and you can kinda get a picture in your mind, but when it comes down to getting it on paper, it all just went to shit. So I started looking for references so that I could better see what it was that I had to do to get the angles right. After drawing it out again, it still wasn’t working, so I asked simply, “What do you want? Tell me how to change it so that I can get it to look the way you want it to.”

Folks, my art style is a SIMPLE one. Simple lines, simple inking technique, but I do like to add a lot of detail with the coloring. I can do backgrounds, but I don’t do them very often, so I’m not the best at it yet. But I like to practice new things, and I like a challenge once in a while, but please don’t expect me to whip up miracles off the top of my head. I’m not good at funky angles, and I can’t see what you see in your mind, so a lot of the time I rely on references to help me. I’m not GOOD at whipping up random poses off the top of my head all the time, like other artists can. I LOVE drawing. I’m not saying I think I’m a bad artist. I’m just not THAT good of an artist yet. Be patient with me, please. >.< I can only do so much at this point, but I’m working to get better.

In any case, since he is a good friend of mine, and he also knows I’ve been having a hard time with my artwork lately, he was kind enough to renegotiate the commission. He’s already pretty much paid me for it, and he knows that I won’t forget about him. I like to finish things for my friends as soon as I can, but he told me I should just take a break and work on some personal art. Which is a very good idea, actually. So sorry, but I’m not going to accept any new commissions for now. For the people I’ve already said I’ll do commissions for, I won’t forget about you. Yours will be the first to get done, after I’ve had a bit of Me time.

I’ve been pushing myself so hard to get other people’s artwork done, and just drawing non-stop because I’m afraid that if I stop drawing now, I won’t draw again for a good few months. X.x So I’ve actually just put some projects on hold for the time being, and I actually managed to sketch out a few fairly decent pics last night. I’m already feeling a little bit better, although I’m still somewhat disappointed that I can’t seem to find an 11X14 ring sketch book anywhere. >.< I have SO many ideas for drawings that I want to do for AC, and for myself, but a lot of them I want to do on bigger paper. So I went through the whole "I can't draw shit" stage, to now "I wanna draw shit" but I can't, cos I don't have the right kind of paper. O.o

*looks at the time* Dammit… I missed the Muppets again. :/ Blah.

Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated

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[User Picture]
From:scullyraptor
Date:January 22nd, 2004 05:36 pm (UTC)
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*sends hugs and whatever artistic karma she can muster*

Cabin fever is the worst part of this time of year >.< I know I've been going nuts. I can't seem to get much more than sketches done at the moment, and of COURSE I'm supposed to be doing everything else BUT new sketches. WHEE. I was just at the Michaels near me today, and they had everything in stock but bristol pads. Probably because of the 40% off coupons in the paper right now.

I'd be willing to look for an 11X14 ring sketch book and mail it to you, if you wanted...
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From:wlfdog
Date:January 22nd, 2004 07:05 pm (UTC)
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Isn't that always the way though? Raptor and I were at the mall looking for more Cardstock, and naturally they had every other kind of paper but that. Twice we went, in fact, and it was the same thing.

Thanks muchly for the kind words, Em. *smiles and wags* Maybe I'm thinking of the wrong dimentions... cos I know there are 11X17's, but I could have sworn I've seen 11X14's before. My portfolio won't fit anything bigger than those dimentions anyway. Thanks for offering to look, I really appreciate it. Don't go out of your way or anything tho... I'd feel bad. :/

Raptor apparently just bought me a new 9X12 pad, according to his LJ, as a belated X-mas gift. He's so sweet. ^^ I guess for the time being I'll put the new pad to use, and just set aside my bigger drawing ideas for later. I still have five months till AC anyway, so I'm sure I'll be able to find something before then. Hopefully anyway.
[User Picture]
From:scullyraptor
Date:January 22nd, 2004 11:37 pm (UTC)
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Weeeell.... Looking at my drawing pad from my class last semester, it's apparently a top-spiral-bound 11x14 pad. I don't know if that's what you meant, but if it is, then I should have no problems finding another like it. There might be side-bound ones too, I'm not sure.
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From:wlfdog
Date:January 23rd, 2004 01:41 am (UTC)
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Top-spiral-bound... is that the same as the ring-bound ones, I'm assuming? *blinks* The reason I'm looking for the kind with rings is because my scanner's picky. :/ It's one of those paper thin CanoScan ones that decides it's going to break on me if I try to scan any regular-bound sketchbooks. Can't fold them all the way to scan properly. *smirks* At least with the ring ones you can flip the pages all the way over.

Sorry if I'm not making much sense... It's 4:30am and my brain is fried, but I can't get to sleep yet. >.
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From:wlfdog
Date:January 23rd, 2004 01:52 am (UTC)
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Okay, I just realized what you meant now. Gods, I'm tired.. >.< Yeah, top or side-spiral-bound, doesn't matter to me. As long as the pages flip over, I don't care what side it's on. :} Hrmm, what's the paper texture like, and about how much do you think one would cost..?

I should go to bed before I kill anymore brain cells. O.o
[User Picture]
From:scullyraptor
Date:January 23rd, 2004 08:30 am (UTC)
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The one I have is 300 series Strathmore drawing paper- 70lb, pretty smooth but I can feel a bit of a tooth to it. Colored pencil blends pretty nice on it.
I think there might be a "premium" version of the same pad, I'll take a peek on my way home from class today ^^
[User Picture]
From:wlfdog
Date:January 23rd, 2004 10:01 am (UTC)
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Ooohh, thank you so much! ^^
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From:rozberk
Date:January 22nd, 2004 08:19 pm (UTC)
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Whaaaat!?! The Muppets are on again?!? When? Where??

Ooh...and I'm sorry about the way you feel. Sounds like you know what you need to do and just need to get the fly-wheel some momentum before you're happy again. I hope it starts all grooving better for you. I'm sure it will. But...

...I'm missing the Muppets??!? Gaaaah!

(((winks, smirks, hugs)))
[User Picture]
From:torrle
Date:January 26th, 2004 09:57 am (UTC)

Eek!

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*hugs* Yeah, I've been in a bit of a funk with drawing too, but FC's finally broken me out of that. I wanna draw a whole lot tonight. We ought to do an art night over at my place sometime soon! That might help.
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